A List Apart Survey - 2010

If you're a web developer, whether full-time, part-time or a hobbyist, A List Apart (ALA) is conducting their 2010 survey of people who make websites.
For those of you unfamiliar with ALA, they are an online magazine "for people who make websites". Contributors include many of the biggest names in web development and web standards. You'll find articles on design, usability, standards, html 5, css and much more.
Participate in the survey and view the results of previous surveys.

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A List Apart Survey - 2009

If you're a web developer, whether full-time, part-time or a hobbyist, A List Apart (ALA) is conducting their 2009 survey of people who make websites.
For those of you unfamiliar with ALA, they are an online magazine "for people who make websites". Contributors include many of the biggest names in web development and web standards. You'll find articles on design, usability, standards, html 5, css and much more.
Participate in the survey and view the results of previous surveys.

God, Rush Limbaugh and Life

Some of you have heard me discuss the many jobs I’ve held in my life. Like when I was a garbage man and business was always picking up!
But the happiest job I ever had was when I worked at a magical kingdom. No, not the magical kingdom, but one of its competitors, West View Park, located outside Pittsburgh, Pa. West View Park had around thirty major rides including two big wooden roller coasters, The Racing Whippet and The Dips (originally built in 1910 and often called The Big Dips).

I had the best of all possible jobs at the park. I came in before the park opened and cleaned the arcade – home to dozens of pinball and electronic machines, the photo booth and more. After the park opened, I was a substitute ride operator. As a result, I learned how to operate nearly every ride in the park. My boss there was the assistant general manager, Skip Morrow. His parents must have had a sense of humor because his given name was Thomas O. Morrow.
That’s right: T. O. Morrow.
The third.
He was a towering figure of a man at 6'6", and just one nickname wouldn’t do for a man of that stature. Those of us who worked closely with him often referred to him affectionately as God. Once when a coworker got married, Skip had somehow ascertained their secret honeymoon location and sent the unsuspecting couple a congratulatory telegram. He asked the Western Union agent if the telegram could be signed, "God and the Disciples, can we do that?" The agent replied, "Of course, as long as you don’t want me to send Him the bill."

At that time Pittsburgh was the home of a top-40 radio station: KQV radio. Two of its top jocks were Jim Quinn and Jeff Christie. They both went on to become major conservative radio talk show hosts. You all may know Jeff Christie better as Rush Limbaugh. Really.
Also back in those days, there seemed to be a newfound fascination with the Guinness Book of Records, so KQV sent a lesser known DJ (whose name I have completely forgotten) to try to set a record riding on The Dips.

Now it happened that he was getting ready to start riding just before the park opened. At that exact time I was walking past the Dips after moving my car from the midway to the parking lot. (How many times have you wanted to drive on the midway?) The train on The Dips was a set of four two-seat cars fastened together. In order to streamline the record-setting attempt, the automatic unlocking of the car that the DJ was riding in was disabled so the staff would not have to manually lock the car on each trip from the platform. This would have left an unused seat for the entire attempt.

I saw my chance and took it. I climbed into the unused seat behind the DJ, told one of the other employees to tell Skip that I would be taking off the rest of the day and began my own record setting quest. We got in maybe a half-dozen or more rides before the park opened. We coasted through the tunnel at the end of the platform, jerked up the chain drive to the top of the first hill, hurtled down the 60 foot drop, experienced the high G-force on the bend where (on each trip) it looked as if you might hurtle onto Highway 19, and rattled back to the station where the workers slowed us down a bit before letting us through to do it again.

Once the park opened, the train came to a stop on each trip to let passengers off and load a new set on. At several times during the day, a light drizzle broke out. During those times, no other passengers were allowed on board for safety reasons. We two kept riding - up the hills, around the bend and rocketing back to the platform in those kidney-pounding cars; never quite coming to a full stop. Because of the rain, I’m pretty sure that no train had ever made as many trips in one day on The Dips as we did on that day. After about 100 laps, and luckily, on one of the trips without other passengers, the DJ lost his lunch. I innocently asked if he wanted to stop and get off. He realized that I would then hold the record for most consecutive rides on The Dips and politely declined. We didn’t have any rules laid out for rest stops and he was determined to outlast me. After another bout of rain, where we just kept riding, the skies cleared and the pace slowed. Neither of us was willing to get off and let the other win. The laps kept accumulating: 150, 200, 225. On one of the stops in the early evening, another employee brought me some food and drink. I had a hot dog and a large beer while continuing to ride.

240 laps.

250 laps.

260 laps.

The beer simply had to come out. At 262 laps, my bladder couldn’t take it any more and I scrambled out. When the train returned, I climbed back in and accompanied the DJ to his record setting 275th consecutive lap on a roller coaster without getting off.

Not many of us have ridden 50 miles or so by roller coaster in one day and I’ll never forget it. That day turned out to be a lot like life, itself: thrilling highs, sudden lows, an occasional overwhelming urge to just get out, the realization that you can’t always be first, and sometimes, sometimes, you just end up right back where you started.

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Purely Philosophic

Early last week, I was preparing a speech to give at the next meeting of our Toastmasters club (last Wednesday). The project was the third speech in one of the advanced manuals, Humorously Speaking. The objectives for that speech are:

• Prepare a speech that opens and closes with humorous stories


• Include jokes in the speech body to illustrate points or maintain audience interest


• Deliver the jokes and stories smoothly and effectively

I had collected several jokes about dental hygiene, but was having trouble putting a speech together. The Swine Flu was starting to take over the airwaves and blogoshere and we recieved an email at work concerning that subject. I decided to change the topic to the Swine Flu. I went out of my way (okay, I lied), and the meeting agenda showed that I would be delivering a speech to inform. Only the Toastmaster and the Evaluator were aware (in advance) that I was giving a humorous speech. I wrote an introduction for the Toastmaster which made it seem as if I was giving a speech on the evolution of philosophic argument. I figured anything would be a welcome relief from that subject. I'm including the introduction and the outline of the speech.

The opening and closing went essentially as scripted and rehearsed. Since I tried not to refer to the script, the body of the delivered speech had a good bit more detail and varied a bit from the outline, below. The jokes and quotes all were included in the appropriate sections. Items appearing in brackets [] were essentially stage directions for myself.

Introduction: Greg is a Sr Security Admin Analyst in the Security Administration department. He has been a Toastmaster for over ten years. He currently holds the office of VP Public Relations in our club. He'll be presenting his 31st manual speech which I understand is about the history of the dialectic method from Socratic to Marxist. The speech title is Purely Philosphic... Greg...

[opening joke]
A great Soviet general was once asked by his aide, "Comrade General, what is the meaning of Marxist dialectic?"
The general replied, "I will explain it to you with an example.
A filthy man is standing outside a bath house. Will he go in?"

"Of course," replied the aide.

"No, you're wrong," said the general. "A filthy man is filthy by his nature, and will not go in to the bath house. Only clean men, knowing the virtues of cleanliness, will bathe."

"I understand, comrade general."

"Now, let me give you another example. A filthy man is standing outside a bath house. Will he go in?"

"Absolutely not," replied the aide immediately.

"You're wrong again," said the general. "Why should a filthy man not enter a bath house? He is dirty, the bath house is there to enable him to become clean, and he will use it."

"I think I understand, comrade."

"Now, one last example: A filthy man is standing outside a bath house. Will he go in?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Now, comrade, you truly understand the meaning of Marxist dialectic."

[actual opening]
Mr. Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and future Toastmasters, several days ago as I was writing this speech which was initially going to be about the benefits of dental hygiene, the news stories about the swine flu were just beginning to circulate. Then on Monday, our company sent all of us an email concerned with protecting your health and that of your co-workers. So, you can all relax. Rather than engage in purely philosophical polemics, I thought I’d review several practical protective steps laid out in that email.

• Cover your face when you sneeze or cough


• Wash your hands frequently


• Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth


• Stay home if you have a fever, sore throat or runny nose


• And be sure to see your doctor if you have flu-like symptoms

[body]
The first three steps are things your mother likely taught you or you learned as a child.

Cover your face when you sneeze or cough
This simple step will help prevent the virus from being transmitted. It’s better if you sneeze into a Kleenex, napkin or something like that, but please cover your mouth. Don’t sneeze on your hand and use that hand to open the door.

Wash your hands frequently
Again, this is very simple advice that you should have learned as a child. Not everyone follows the earlier advice about not touching things after sneezing or coughing on their hands. Use soap and water or an alcohol based sanitizer to remove the germs from your hands.

If your Mother was like mine, she always made us take a bath after school let out.

Not every day.

Every June.

Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth
This third simple step will help prevent any germs you have picked up on your hands from infecting you. There aren’t many germs that can enter your body through healthy skin. Just use simple caution and think before touching your eyes, nose and mouth.

A teacher asked little Johnny to complete the old proverb, Cleanliness is next to … [wait for audience to say godliness]
“Impossible”, said Johnny!

The fourth step is for those of you who are workaholics, or who really don’t consider the health of the rest of us.
Stay home if you have a fever, sore throat or runny nose
Don’t spread germs needlessly. Work from home, if you can. Phone it in. We like you, but we really do not want to share your misery. Contrary to your heroic vision of yourself, we do not admire your stoicism. Stay home.

I saw this internet post (and tweet) from SQL guru Denis Gobo on Monday:

Remember!!! You can't get swine flu from your cyberfriends

Finally,
Be sure to see your doctor if you have flu-like symptoms
Don’t try to tough it out. Get help and advice from a professional.
Don’t help an outbreak become an epidemic and develop into a pandemic, which is simply the definition of a worldwide epidemic.

[Closing]
While the story at the beginning of my speech is humorously close to my actual understanding of the Marxist dialectic, the real purpose of my speech was to urge you to protect your health and the health of your co-workers with several simple steps.
Remember the three steps you Mother taught you.

• Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough
• Wash your hands frequently
• Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth

The fourth step:
• Stay home if you have a fever, sore throat or runny nose

And the final step
• Be sure to see your doctor if you have flu-like symptoms

[closing joke]
Last night, I was talking to my neighbor, Dr. [name changed], and she told me about her visit from the plumber to fix a clogged drain.
He was there just under fifteen minutes, cleared her drain and presented her with a bill for $200.
She said, "$200 for just a few minutes of work? I’m a doctor and I don’t make that kind of money."

The plumber replied, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."
[pause]

Mr. Toastmaster...

Seven Score And Four

April 15th isn't just the day that taxes are due to federal and state governments.
On this date seven score and four years ago, Abraham Lincoln died from an assassin's bullet fired the night before.
It's also the day the Titanic sunk after hitting an iceberg the night before, an event that killed 1517 people and spawned multiple bad movies.

But April 15th isn't just a day of tragic or frightening events. It is also the sixty-second anniversary of the date that Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in major league baseball.
I see from the date of my last post that this is something that I probably should do a little more often. Maybe this will be the trigger for some more posts.

Time will tell...